I’ll start by saying that being a father will probably be one of, if not the greatest things you’ll ever experience. However, you can love your children dearly, love being a father, and still feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities that come with it. Children need present and engaged fathers; not ones who are exhausted 24/7 and on the verge of having a breakdown.

Beyond being a father, you’re also expected to support your partner, handle household responsibilities, maintain your health and fitness, pay bills, keep your career moving forward, and still find time for yourself. Yes, there are times when you have to suck it up and trudge forward. Dare I say, this is the case most of the time. However, it’s important to recognize the signs of burnout and do your best to avoid it. After all, your child and partner deserve the best version of you.

Here are some ways to avoid burnout:

1. Accept the fact that you don’t have to be perfect. Mistakes are inevitable, and you will lose your patience. Remember that you don’t always have to be right. You have to be consistent.
2. Make time for yourself, however little. Stepping away and having uninterrupted personal time is essential. You can use this time to exercise, run errands alone, read, or just sit in silence.
3. Prioritize physical health. Be physically active, monitor your nutrition, and sleep when you can.
4. Share responsibilities with your partner. Neither one of you needs to, or should, go through this alone. Communicate with your partner regularly to determine how these responsibilities can be shared.
5. You don’t have to be busy every weekend. People will want to see you and the baby. Which is fine. However, save time for yourself. Don’t commit to every invite.
6. Learn to ask friends and family for help. As someone who hates asking for help, I love and appreciate the friends and family who have given us a helping hand, and more, these past few years.
7. Don’t lose your identity. When you have kids, being a father becomes part of your identity. But you can still be the same person you were before. It may be more challenging at times, but you can still do it. Go fishing, go hiking, write, hang out with friends, and do other activities you loved before when time permits.
8. Recognize when you need a break. If you find yourself becoming more irritable, disconnected, or exhausted, take these signs seriously and take care of your physical and mental health as soon as you can.

I want to stress the importance of paying attention to your spouse/partner and their needs. If you notice signs of burnout, help them as best you can and make sure they get a break from their responsibilities for a while. Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup, so take care of yourself.