New Dad Series

Sleep is great, isn’t it? One of the best feelings in the world is when you get to put your head down on a comfy pillow and soundly fall into a deep slumber. Whether it’s at the end of a long day or a mid-day catnap, some decent rest does a body good. Sleep is a necessity and part of a healthy lifestyle. Even with a busy work schedule, we can generally find time to sleep. However, parenthood will bring new challenges to this area of life.

I’m sure you’ve heard seasoned parents constantly say that you’ll never sleep again after having kids. While this may be hyperbolic, it’s not totally off the mark. Yes, your sleep cycle is going to be thrown off completely and this will be especially hard at the beginning, when your infant is waking up every 2 hours or so. They don’t always go right back to sleep either. It can take hours sometimes to get the kiddo to fall back asleep again. The hardest part for me was not so much the limited hours of sleep, but the routine of constantly falling asleep and waking up. My wife and I were both walking zombies for the first several weeks. Thankfully we both had each other.

Yes, the act of sleeping, as you become a parent, will be altered forever. Unless you don’t plan on being a present father and just let the mother raise the child (Which I sincerely hope you don’t) you will be lacking some serious shut-eye. However, we all need to doze at some point; otherwise, sleep deprivation will get to you and it can create boundless other problems with your health, career, relationships, and personal responsibilities, etc. Therefore, it’s essential to find time to sleep, no matter what.

Being parents now for just over a year, there are a few things that helped us:

• Alternate sleep and night duties: Since my wife and I both work, we would alternate who does night duty. Generally, the person who was off the next day would handle it for the night. If we were both scheduled to work, then we would tagteam or trade off. Even if your partner doesn’t “work,” still alternate night duty when you can because taking care of a baby all day and night is a full-time job and more. It’s very exhausting work, to say the least.
• Sleep when the baby sleeps: Your baby, especially as a newborn, will he napping a lot. If possible, sleep when they sleep. I understand that these moments are often needed to get other tasks done around the house, but whenever you get a chance to nap simultaneously with your baby, take it.
• Take help from family and friends: If you have trusted family and/or friends that can help with childcare occasionally, take advantage of it. Have them watch your child while you and your partner catch up on rest and/or self-care. We are very lucky in this regard since we’ve always had a lot of help from our parents.
• Be supportive partners and help each other: The bottom line is that the more you help each other, the better off you will be. For instance, if you see your partner getting exhausted and you’re able to take over babycare for a while, then do so.

Find ways that work best for you and feel free to comment here to let me know what they are. I’m always open to hear new ideas, especially when it comes to getting better sleep. While sleeping will be difficult, it is still essential, so take every opportunity you can get to rest your body and mind. Sleep tight everyone!

P.S. You will now have a new alarm clock who will wake you up whether you’re ready, or not. And it won’t be so easy to press the snooze button. However, when you see that little face staring back at you, it will bring a lot of joy.

For those of you who don’t have kids yet, you may have heard many parents in the past talk about how being a parent is the most wonderful experience and you don’t realize it until you have your own. I can say that this is definitely, at least for me. I never understood why people got so excited every time their kid did something meniscule, and were always camera ready, until I watched my own son do it. Every time he did something new, even turning his head a certain way for the first time, it was a great moment.

There’s just something about watching your mini-me grow and become a person of their own. I’m here to tell all moms and dads to enjoy parenthood, even when others don’t understand. Are other people going to be obsessed with your kids like you? Probably not, and they don’t have to be. They’re your kids; your excitement does not need justification or reinforcement. Just like other parents’ excitement doesn’t need yours.

Right from the moment you see your child come into this world, you will witness tremendous growth in every aspect, and it will be wonderful to see. Your little person will grow and learn new things, develop their unique personality, and run you ragged on a daily basis. There will be new challenges every step of the way, but you’ll cherish watching your son or daughter flourish as they get bigger.

During these growing moments, your child will move around quicker, disappear at a moment’s notice, and get into just about anything and everything. It will happen out of nowhere before you even realize it, so be prepared. Don’t believe for one second that your baby can’t open the door, or that heavy drawer, or pull something off of a high shelf. They will be able to do things that will impress and terrify you at the same time. All that being said, baby proofing the home is essential and must be done ASAP once your child is able to move around on their own. When should you start? Well, as quickly as you want. The sooner, the better.

Now, you don’t technically have to start right when your child is born. They won’t be moving around for a while. However, at the six-month mark, and maybe earlier for some, you want to make sure those doors aren’t easily opened, that those gates are in front of the stairs, and that the cabinets with harmful substances are locked up well. I advise not waiting until the kiddo is moving around already to start. It can take a while to child proof a home, so start as soon as you can. The good thing is you don’t have to do everything at once. Just start and make the proper improvements on a regular basis. You can also get a professional to do it for you, but that can get pricey. You can certainly get a consultation, research stuff on the internet, and also asks friends and family who have already been through the process.

Always remember that creating a safe environment for children is no substitute for a watchful eye. Always make sure someone is watching the kiddo closely because it takes less than a second for a tragedy to occur. I don’t say this to scare you, but to make you hyper-aware. Protect the innocent little people living with you. Do the best you can to safeguard your home and watch your child grow as a person.

Hey everyone, sorry it has been a while since I’ve posted. I will try to post more regularly. Life gets busy sometimes, but that’s not an excuse. Anyway, hope you are all doing well and enjoying your lives as dads, soon-to-be dads, or just thinking-about-becoming dads. Moms and whomever else reading, hope you all are doing great too.

I want to remind all of you that your baby will have bad days. Or days that just aren’t pleasant for them. It’s not necessarily because they’re sick, of course, that could be the case. They could just not be feeling right for whatever reason. Remember that this can happen to us as adults. There are moments where we are just not in the mood for anything. Babies are little humans so they will have those types of days too.

It’s nothing personal and it’s not because you did something wrong. If your baby is more fussy, cranky and not as friendly as usual, let them have their emotions and be the best parent you can be. Do your best to find out what’s wrong, if anything at all. Love them unconditionally and wait for them to feel better. Enjoy the times when your baby is feeling great and be understanding when they are not.

Finally, if you feel there is something wrong that requires more attention, don’t hesitate to see a professional. Enjoy your baby’s good days and be understanding of their bad days.

For all of the new fathers out there, or soon-to-be fathers, your life is probably hectic as all heck. Helping care for the baby and supporting your partner will take up a lot of time and energy. It is worth it, but definitely exhausting. On top of that, your other responsibilities will not got away, whether it was being the financial provider, the fix-it-guy, the protector, or in some cases the home-maker. While your wife/partner is recovering from the pregnancy and birth, you may be doing all of these and more. That all comes with supporting your partner.

With the busy world we live in, it sometimes feels like we need to be on the move and multi-task nonstop. This mean we are around our kids, but not really being present with them. What is the difference? Well, you can have your child close by and “watch” them, but being present means you are active in what they are doing and not getting distracted by other things. For instance, you are engaging with your kiddo in whatever activity they are doing and not talking on your cellphone, sending emails, playing on social media, or doing other tasks besides being with the little person you helped create. Your child will grow fast and not being present will cause you to miss out on many memorable moments. Your kids will eventually start noticing if you aren’t mentally present while in their company. Of course, you won’t capture every single thing your child does all the time, but the more present you are, the greater the memories you will have.

I understand that work and business need to get done, and inevitably, your attention will need to be in other places during certain times. However, When it’s time for you to be with your child, I implore you to make the most of it. Whether it’s watching them play, taking a nap, changing their diapers, going to the park, or whatever else they may be doing, be present, be engaged, and be the best dad possible. Your kids will eventually pick up on your actions and even mimic them, as I discussed in a previous post. Well, if your kiddo is around, go see what they are doing. Have a great day guys!

My wife and I travelled for the first time internationally with our infant son. We are blessed to be able to give him an experience of a lifetime. Even though he won’t remember this trip, we will have plenty if pics to remind him. Also, I believe he will have these moments stored somewhere in his subconscious mind. This is the first of many international vacations we plan to take him on.

That being said, traveling with an infant will be different from anything you’ve experienced before. I will not sugarcoat things; it is not easy to travel with an infant. Many challenges and unexpected circumstances will arise and you need to be as prepared as possible. Don’t just fly by the seat of your pants, or whatever that expression is. Basically, don’t just go in blind and hope for the best. This may be okay if it’s just you and other adults. However, when a little human being is involved, who cannot care for themselves, we are on a whole other level.

Let’s start with packing. Have as many toys, snacks, formula, diapers, and other basic comfort necessities as you can. Have these within easy reach when you are on the plane, because you will need them in an instant on several occasions; especially if it’s a long flight. Have a multitude of different toys and whatever your baby finds entertaining available, because they will become bored and need something else to grab their attention. Have pacifiers available and use them during take off and landing. These are the moments when your baby’s ears can start hurting the most, and sucking on a pacifier can ease the discomfort. There are also special earmuffs available that can assist. Your baby may not like to wear them, though. Ours definitely didn’t. However, the pacifier was a lifesaver on numerous occasions during the whole trip. We always tried to avoid excessive pacifier use at home, but during travels, it was necessary to have. Whenever it’s slow and you have time, walk up and down the aisle with your baby so they don’t just stay in one spot for an extended period.

During the trip, never go out without all of the necessities and have a little extra of everything, whether it’s diapers, formula, wipes, pacifiers, and clothes. Not a bad idea to bring a change of clothing for you too. Babies will make a mess at any moment and it will get all over them, and probably you, as well. Always be ready to comfort your baby at the drop of a hat. You may not be able to relax fully, but having your child be comfortable is worth it. If they’re not comfortable, everyone will be miserable, including other people not in your party.

There are measures you can take ahead of time, like booking a bassinet on the plane for the baby to sleep in. Pack the baby’s belongings well ahead of time and check frequently so you don’t miss anything important. Whatever preparation you can do, don’t hesitate to do it. There will be a lot of extra work involved, but the more comfortable your baby is, the better your trip will be.

Let’s quickly talk about Benadryl and sleep aids. Basically, ask your pediatrician about safe dosage for your child if needed to ease anxiety. We never gave our son Benadryl at home, but we had it available during the flight in case it was absolutely needed. We did try a practice dose a few days before flying to make sure there were no adverse reactions. I definitely recommend you do not give any medications for the first time to your infant while they are on the plane. Once again, discuss with your pediatrician about safe and proper doses.

Good luck on your adventures. Despite all of the challenges, being able to take your infant on trips around the world is a great experience. My wife and I are excited to have our son experience the world, just like we have. We are already planning our future vacations together. Please let me know if you have any specific questions.