Being a father is rewarding and a great gift. The time you get to spend with your kiddos should truly be treasured, because these moments fly by quickly. A major reality that is often ignored is burnout for new fathers. This is generally from sleep deprivation, pressure to provide, and loss of personal time. While this was seen more traditionally with moms, who are often the primary nurturer, and obviously the ones who are giving birth, dads also experience these struggles, especially with modern fathers taking on more nurturing and caring roles. Bottomline: burnout for dads is a real thing and the following are some methods to help avoid crashing out.

1. Don’t have unrealistic expectations. Be the best father you can be, but don’t try to be perfect. Certainly don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect, because it will never happen. Be present and consistent. Let your kiddos know you love them. Avoid comparisons with other dads, especially when all you know is what’s on social media. Accept the fact that some days will be better than others.
2. Protect your sleep at all costs. Sleep deprivation does not only cause burnout, but it can be harmful to health and be dangerous for us and others. Split night duties with your spouse or partner. Take naps whenever possible, even for 20 or 30 minutes. You’ll be amazed by what a powernap can do.
3. Work as a team with your partner. Communicate with each other regularly. Stay up on each other’s needs. Make sure to rotate responsibilities, like errands, diaper changes, feedings, etc. Each partner may have specific roles, so do what works best for you two. If you notice signs of burnout in your partner, step up and see how you can help.
4. Never fully lose your identity. Yes, you will become a different person after becoming a father. While you may have spent your free time before watching sports, working in the yard, or just chilling on the couch. Now, it may consist of watching cartoons, playing in the sandbox, or having teatime. Despite the changes you go through, always hold onto a piece of your identity. What activities did you enjoy doing before? Hiking? working out? Reading? Working on your car? Cooking? If you enjoyed these activities before, there is no reason to let them go now. Will you be able to do them as often? Probably not; but engage in them whenever you can. If you can eventually incorporate your kids into your hobbies, that’s even better.
5. Take care of your body. This is important. Be active, eat healthy meals, stay hydrated, get massages, do some deep breathing and anything else to keep your body healthy.
6. Talk to other dads. You may have friends who are fathers that you can reach out to. However, if you don’t want to go this route, then there are plenty of online groups and forums for dads out there.

As a dad, you shouldn’t have to just handle it. It’s okay to ask for help, and the earlier you do so, the better the outcome. Watch for early signs of burnout, like fatigue, irritability, feeling emotionally numb, and dreading time at home. Burnout does not usually show up at once, but snowballs over time, and before you know it, we are having nervous breakdowns. When you notice these early signs, act immediately. Better yet, act before you even see these signs.