I get it. Our world runs on the internet, and our phones are our lifelines. We can respond to emails and messages instantly, look up valuable information in seconds, and find something entertaining to watch any time we are bored. Yes, having a phone is important for both personal and professional reasons, and I am certainly not telling you to throw them away and go without. However, we can keep our phones handy without becoming addicted, and we can certainly put them away when it’s time for our children.

You may think being in your child’s presence is good enough, regardless of whether you are paying attention to them or not. However, your children notice more than you think, including when you’re highly distracted, whether responding to work emails or watching mindless videos that can wait. I’m not telling you to ignore important messages and delay essential work projects. However, when it’s time to be with your child, give them as much attention as you can, even if it’s as simple as watching them play. Therefore, put down your phone and avoid other distractions as much as possible.

Childhood is happening in real time, and there is no replay button. If you miss something cute or memorable, no matter how small, it is gone for good. If you see it in real time, even if you don’t get a photo or video, it will still be burned into your memory. Some of my best memories with my son are the smallest ones that happened behind closed doors, like when he stares me dead in the eyes with a huge smile on his face, enjoying my presence. Those memories are priceless and far more meaningful than anything I’ll see on my phone. In most instances, the phone can wait. Not every message warrants an immediate response. Sometimes the most important things in life are happening right in front of you.

Kids learn an immense amount from their parents, simply by observing them. When you use your phone, you’re teaching them about technology and how to manage it. If they constantly see you on your phone, they will believe it is okay and may become addicted to their phones or tablets too. Sometimes, it’s nice to just sit peacefully and enjoy your surroundings.

Once again, I’m not telling you to become a monk and abandon your phone entirely. Instead, create intentional periods throughout the day when the phone is off-limits, like dinner time, bath time, bedtime, playtime, and whatever other time you find valuable to be without technology. We all become distracted, whether it’s by our phones or something else. The key is to recognize when these distractions are making us miss out on life and limit them.