So, this may sound strange at first, but just hear me out. For full disclosure, I never felt the emotion discussed in this post when my kiddo was born. On the contrary, I enjoyed watching the attention he received because I knew he was well loved by so many people, whether it was my wife and me, the grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, and even strangers. I thought it was awesome when strangers would talk about how cute he was when they would see him in his stroller.

That being said, do new dads ever feel jealous of their baby? Some fathers do feel this way. They are jealous because the baby is getting all of the attention and suddenly becomes the most important person in the relationship and household. Yes, the baby does become the most important person because they need everyone’s full attention and care. That doesn’t mean you, as the father, become useless. You play a huge role in the baby’s care, and just remember that your little one cannot survive without your attention.

Some fathers may also feel left out because of all the mother-baby bonding time, which is crucial. Once again, you may feel useless during these moments and wish you could get the special time back with your partner. Do you know what else is crucial? Father-baby bonding time. Dads can also perform skin-to-skin contact and connect with the newborn in their own special way. For instance, bath time, changing diapers, taking the baby to the park, or just holding them are all moments of great bonding.

Furthermore, fathers can suddenly feel like their needs don’t matter and that even when they’re exhausted, the baby comes first. While the baby’s needs do become a priority because, once again, they cannot care for themselves, that does not mean your needs don’t matter. Your wife or partner may want to take care of you, but she’s exhausted too, so take that into consideration. Do your best to have alone time with your spouse when the baby naps, and take care of each other. The parents should definitely not forget their own needs and wants, even though the baby does take priority.

Many dads will feel guilty for having these jealous emotions. I’m here to tell you, without judgment, that it’s okay to have these feelings. We are all human, and if you have these thoughts, it doesn’t make you a bad father. It makes you a person with a heart and soul. As a father, you will often have to be stoic and grit your way through tough times. However, that does not mean you won’t experience complex emotions. Fatherhood means you won’t let these complexities define who you are as a parent.

Your baby will have numerous needs that require an immediate response. They cannot communicate through words, so it becomes a bit of a guessing game. As the father, you will play a significant role in helping your child meet those needs. Your partner will also rely on you for emotional and other types of support. She will appreciate having a good teammate to raise a child together. Remember these facts if you ever feel useless in the moment. You are more valuable than you realize.