The last time you left home, it was probably just you and your wife/partner alone. Now, after two or three days, or however long the hospital stay was, you are walking down to your car, buckling your infant into their car seat, and driving home for the first time with baby in tow. During the drive home, you realize you are fully responsible for a tiny human who will rely on you fully for many years to come. Your life has officially changed.

The first night at home can draw out a range of feelings, like fear, exhaustion, stress, and excitement. Whatever the case, the moment will be unforgettable. While you may have thought you were prepared well enough, you may question yourself about many things. For instance, you may wonder if the baby is getting enough nutrition, if they’re sleeping too much or not enough, why you can’t get them to stop crying, or if you’re doing things right at all. It is certainly okay to have these thoughts, and it doesn’t mean you weren’t prepared enough. No matter how much preparation we do, babies do not come with an instruction manual, and we learn many things on the fly through experience.

The biggest change you may feel on the first night is the lack of sleep. I’m sure you already felt that during the few nights you were in the hospital. The days and nights will consist of feedings, diaper changes, soothing sessions, and watching the baby as they sleep to make sure they are still doing well. Soothing sessions can vary greatly. Sometimes the baby will feel better right away and fall back asleep. Other times, it may take several minutes. Or, it could take several hours. My wife and I often took turns trying to soothe our baby son and get him to sleep, and we were up several hours doing so. The best thing you can do is work as a team with your partner and take turns with these tasks while the other person sleeps. You will not get perfect sleep, but do the best you can and take advantage of short nap sessions.

Your main focus when returning from the hospital will be the baby and your partner. Don’t worry too much about cleaning the house, cooking, laundry, or doing any of that stuff. While having house chores pile up may drive you nuts, the priority is still the baby and each other. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Reach out to friends and/or family members who are willing to help, and don’t feel bad for accepting their help. Swallow your pride and realize that it’s for the good of your new infant and yourself.

With all of the chaos that may occur during your first night, make sure to take the time to soak things in. There will be moments of silence, like when your baby is feeding or comfortably sleeping in your arms. Use these instances to appreciate what you have. You and your partner brought a new life into this world. Store this in your memory bank. Pause as often as possible to fully take in what is happening. Days, months, and years from now, you will remember these special occasions. Oh, and don’t forget to take a lot of pictures.

Your first night at home is not about getting everything right, because you probably won’t. It’s about keeping your baby safe and secure and ensuring that their needs are taken care of. The ultimate goal from here on out is to show up, have patience, be kind, learn every day, and be consistent. Years from now, you may not recall how many times your baby fed or how many hours you slept. But you will remember the special moments you had with your child when you brought them home on that first night.