We’ve spoken a lot about consistency in parenting, and this is very important in building trust between a father and their child. Trust is not built with one grand deed, but through multiple small actions over time. For instance, if you are largely absent from your child’s life but get them expensive gifts on special occasions, they might be excited for a while, but these feelings will soon fade, and a growing resentment can brew after a while. However, if you’re there for them day after day, they will see you as an emotional safe place.

Here are some ways to build trust that won’t cost you anything:

1. Listen to your children without immediately making a judgement or criticizing. Allow your child to express themselves, within reason, assess what was said, and go from there. If you avoid immediate judgement, your child will feel more comfortable coming to you with their problems.
2. Keep promises, regardless of how small they are. I still remember moments during my childhood where adults would tell me certain things, but when it came time to do them, they either conveniently forgot, or made up some excuse for why they couldn’t deliver. I still think about these moments and shake my head at those adults who could never keep their promises and thought it was no big deal. I always strive to keep my promises to my son, even though he is still a toddler and probably won’t remember it anyway. I don’t want to make it a habit of breaking promises.
3. Spend uninterrupted time together. When you’re with your children, avoid distractions like your phone. Don’t respond to calls or messages unless it’s an emergency. Be present with your child when you’re with them.
4. Admit when you’ve made a mistake and apologize. We all make mistakes. Apologize when you do and move on.
5. Do your best to make sure your child feels heard, valued, or protected. Never make your children feel like they’re a burden. You chose to bring them into this world. They didn’t choose to be here.

When a father fosters an environment filled with patience, stability, calmness, and love, the child will feel they can come to their dads for anything. Children may forget specific conversations, but they will remember how you made them feel, so make sure those emotions are positive.