For all of the new or soon-to-be parents out there, just know that your infant and toddler will be two separate people, even though they are technically the same person. As such, they will have different needs. Your child will change exponentially during their first few years of life, and it will both amaze and scare you at the same time. One day, you’ll be taking care of an infant who relies on you 100%, and before you know it, you’ll have a toddler who is slowly becoming more independent, loves to explore, and will test your limits daily. Both the infant and the toddler will make you worry, but for different reasons.

The infant stage consists of keeping them safe, fed, and close. The needs for an infant are simple, but intense. You literally have to be on top of the feedings, naps, and holding them when needed. Your infant will rely on you for round-the-clock feeding (generally every 2 hours), putting them to sleep (which can range from a couple of minutes to over an hour), diaper changes, other physical care, like baths, and constant soothing and reassurance. You will be holding your baby for long periods of time.

When you pick up your baby and hold them close, it not only soothes them but also builds a foundation. You’re teaching them that you are their safe space, so to speak. The infant stage is all about how and when you respond. It is not the time to teach or discipline. Those moments come later on. Your role is to calm your baby because they do not yet have the ability to calm themselves. What’s even more difficult is that they can’t tell you what’s bothering them. It begins a guessing and elimination game.

During the toddler stage, your kiddo will want to explore. Let them do so, but don’t let them fall apart. Soon enough, your child will start walking, running, climbing, getting into things, and testing what they can get away with. Your child will gain more and more independence during this phase. Instead of needing you for everything, they will try things on their own. This is great, and you should let them explore and try new things, but keep it within reason. For instance, if you see your toddler exploring something by climbing, watch them closely and stop them before they get hurt. Keep your eyes glued to them and be ready to intervene immediately. Toddlers have a desire for independence, but cannot fully handle it. This can lead to meltdowns. They’re not trying to be difficult. They need your guidance. Help them explore, explain the consequences of their decisions, and assist them in navigating their emotions.

In summary, infants require their needs to be met instantly, and toddlers need guidance in navigating their needs. The two stages of development are widely different, but what remains constant is your need to be present, patient, and consistent. You can’t just be a parent once in a while. You are a parent 24/7 once you choose to take on that responsibility.

As a father, you will slowly adjust your parenting style as your child grows and develops. You will learn when to step back and when to step in. You will slowly learn when to let go, inch by inch. You will learn to meet them where they are. I am currently meeting my son during his toddler phase. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.