New Dad Series

This goes out to all of the people out there who love doing things on their own. They hate asking for help because it may make them look weak. I am here to tell you that this is not the case. Now that you have a new little person entering your life, you are not just responsible for yourself, or your partner. There is a new little life that will require most of your attention and care. They will rely on you completely for several years.

That being said, you will need help. If you have supportive friends, family, neighbors, etc., who are willing to step up and be there for you, then definitely take advantage of it. If they offer to bring you food, take it. If they offer to babysit, let them. If they want to help with errands, give them a list. People genuinely enjoy helping others. It makes them feel good and it takes some of the burdens off of you. Everyone needs help and it does not make you weak to accept it. I am slowly learning this too.

If you’ve never heard the term “Doula” before, don’t worry. I never heard of them until about halfway through our pregnancy. A doula is basically a professional support person who provides support and guidance during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. There are a lot of unknowns during pregnancy, whether it’s your first baby or your 10th. It can be a scary time and many parents are worried about doing the wrong thing. After all, babies don’t really come with instruction manuals. Having, someone knowledgeable that can guide us during the whole process can provide healthier outcomes for both the mother and the baby.

How can doulas make our lives easier during this exciting, yet highly emotional and stressful time? Well, let’s talk about some of the benefits. First of all, there is the physical support. Doulas often have a magic touch. They can provide tools for positioning and comfort that will make the whole birthing process easier. At least as easy as it can be. Next, they can provide emotional support by being nurturing and allowing a safe space for emotions to be expressed freely. Pregnancy is difficult, both physically and mentally, and just having a knowledgeable person to talk to can be a huge weight off of our shoulders. Can you be an emotional support person for your partner? Of course, you can. Can friends, family, and acquaintances jump in. Yes, this is also true. However, a doula, as I mentioned earlier, is highly knowledgeable and trained in these situations and can often provide objective observations. While friends and family may have good intentions, their advice may not always be the best.

Speaking of being a support partner, the doula will also be there for you. Furthermore, they can provide support for every birth partner, whether it’s a romantic partner, a friend, grandparents, or anyone else closely involved with the birthing process. Doulas can help improve the experience of everyone involved.

Finally, doulas are a wealth of information and can provide a bridge for communication between their clients and providers. They have access to many resources that are evidence-based and can be a voice for those they support while advocating for the best care possible during the whole birthing process. This can allow mothers and their partners to ask better questions and make more informed decisions, and trust me, there will be plenty.

So, should you hire a doula? I will simply say that it’s up to you. I have provided the benefits and I advise you to do further research to determine if having one is right for you. It is very advantageous to have a professional support person by your side, but it is not absolutely necessary. Personally speaking, we did not have a doula. However, we also did a lot of research, took many classes, and had some supportive friends and family. Our OB-GYN is also wonderful. Nowadays, there are tons of resources out there, including free ones, so take advantage of those. Whatever you decide to do, good luck and I wish you and your family the best!

Ok, so your wife or partner is going through some changes. Does she crave strange foods or something she does not usually crave? Is she late on her period? Is she feeling some changes on the inside that she can’t explain? Well, it could be nothing, or it could something major, like being pregnant. Your partner takes a pregnancy test and a couple of minutes later, she gets the positive sign or something that indicates she is, indeed, pregnant. Even though these tests are highly accurate, she must still get official word from her OBGYN.

After all that, you find out that she is pregnant, and you are going to be a dad. A wave of emotions starts coming over you. Perhaps your heart starts racing, your mind begins to spin, and you might even feel like fainting. What should you do next? Well, take a deep breath and realize that your life will be changing soon and in a major way. However, also realize that change is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a great thing and becoming a dad is definitely one of those moments. I admit that I always wanted kids, but it was not until my wife became pregnant that I realized how exciting it was going to be. A mini version of us would now be joining us on all of our life’s adventures.

There will be many things to do over the next several months until your baby arrives and while there is a lot that can be done in this time period, it will go by faster than you think. I realize that each person’s situation is different as far as relationship status, family dynamics, living situation, and career paths, etc. Therefore, the best thing I can tell you is to support your partner the best you can. Even if your relationship is not strong, (And I am not judging you one way or another) support each other for the sake of your baby. Come together and discuss a plan of care, like a birthing plan, what to buy, living situation, getting the necessities, setting up a room, and other important projects that need to be done. Also, set up your doctor’s appointments, do research on proper pregnancy nutrition, start getting advice from other parents whom you respect, and reach out for help. It takes a lot to get ready for a baby and even more to raise one. There is no shame in reaching out your hand and asking for assistance. Swallow your pride for the sake of your child.

In the end, just enjoy the ride and take things as they come. Yes, it is important to plan, but life comes at you fast and there is only so much you can control. Don’t be too hard on yourself and do the best you can for your partner, your baby, and yourself. That being said, your partner is going to be going through some major changes and there are times when she will have no idea what is going on with her body. Google can certainly be your friend. Also, read mom and dad blogs, reach out to friends and family, and also talk to your doctor. Most importantly, be there for your partner. Pick up extra chores around the house, make dinner for her often, tend to her food cravings, give her massages, and just be the best partner you can be. It will mean a lot to her. Remember, another life will be joining you guys who will 100% rely on your care. Be the cohesive team that he/she needs.

Finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Having a baby changes things, but that doesn’t mean you have to forget all about your previous life. So, keep enjoying the things you always have. Just include your little person with you. You have the capability to handle this and all other challenges that come your way. Like I said before, take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.

So, gentlemen, if your partner is pregnant, she will probably need a maternity pillow at some point. The proper pillow will help support her baby belly and her back. It can be extremely difficult for her to find a comfortable sleeping position, so this is something important during the pregnancy stages. You cannot put a price on a good night’s sleep.

The best maternity pillow will ultimately depend on personal preference. For my wife, we got a BabyBub pillow. This pillow has a butterfly design with two wedge shaped pillows that rest on each side of the body. The design prevents her from rolling onto her back, and helps reduce pain issues with the hip and back. For my wife, she had a hard time laying on her right side. Our baby seemed to hate this position and he would start kicking uncontrollably anytime she laid on the right side. By using this pillow, she was able to lay on her left side, and stay their without the fear of falling back.

This product was truly a godsend and worth the 60+ dollars we spent on it. Prior to this, my wife could not sleep at all. However, after getting the BabyBub pillow, she finally got some restful sleep. I believe we got it around the five or six month mark, but each individual is different. Of course, I am not telling you that all sleep problems will go away. There is always general discomfort that comes with pregnancy which disturbs a woman’s sleep patterns; especially when that baby starts kicking in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, some women will deal with more problems than others. That being said, a good maternity pillow can be a life changer. So, if I had to recommend a product, BabyBub is the way to go. However, do your research, ask around, and determine what the best fit will be for your partner.

Hello everyone! I will be a first time dad as of February 2023 (Unless he shows up earlier). My hope is to communicate with fathers out there, both new and seasoned, and give each other advice, helpful tips, support, and everything in between.

As a first time dad, I am both nervous and excited at the same time. I’m sure many of you can relate. I enjoyed reading numerous books on fatherhood and wanted to give back. That being said, this is a blog for dads, by dads. If there are any particular topics you want me to blog about, let me know and I’ll see what I can do.

At this moment, I am doing my best to care for my wife. After a few failed attempts, we are on track to have a healthy baby. I hope that I will always be able to provide well for my family; this is my biggest concern. Luckily for us, we do have support from family and friends.

Let’s make this dad blog the best ever!!