It’s evening time, and the sun has set. It’s dark outside, but your kiddo wants to go to the park. You explain to them that you cannot take them to the park right now due to the darkness. However, you promise to take them tomorrow, directly after getting home from work. The child smiles and becomes excited, unable to wait for the following day. When you get home from work, your kiddo is waiting for you with their shoes on and a gleeful smile, only to be disappointed because you forgot the promise from the day before, and tell them you are too tired to take them. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, right? It’s just the park. It will still be there tomorrow and the next day.

I’ve got news for you. This isn’t about the park. It’s about breaking a promise that you made to your child, and that is a big deal. Children will ultimately remember what you did over what was said. If you constantly tell them things that don’t come to fruition, it will create a lot of bad blood and hurt feelings. Actions speak louder than words. And guess what? If you break a promise once and don’t think much of it, expect it to become a habit.

The following are a few reasons why you, as a parent, should keep your promises:

1. Building trust: When a child sees that the adults mean what they say, they will learn to trust your words, and this will be the foundation of your relationship down the line.
2. Emotional Security: Adults control the world, and children live in it. Predictable follow-through by the closest adults in their lives helps them feel safe and stable.
3. Teaches integrity: Kids copy actions more than words. Don’t be a hypocrite and expect them to do what you say and not what you do. Keeping promises teaches kids that commitments matter, including the small ones.
4. Shapes self-worth: When a child experiences broken promises time after time, they will ultimately believe they are not important. One missed promise may not be a huge deal, but repeated patterns can be harmful to their self-worth.
5. Improves overall behavior: Children are more likely to cooperate with their parents when they consistently follow through on what they say.

Now, we are not perfect beings, and we will make mistakes. Also, the world is unpredictable, and we cannot always control what will happen. Unexpected events and emergencies occur, and in these instances, breaking the promise may be necessary. However, children can be very understanding, but what matters is how you handle things. Tell them as early as possible if you need to break a commitment. For instance, if you promise to take them to the park but you will be home much later than expected, call home ahead of time and inform them of the situation. Don’t just come home and try to say nothing. Acknowledge their disappointment, reschedule the commitment, and follow through with the reschedule.

Keep your commitments short and simple. If you tell them you will take them to the park, it doesn’t have to be a three-hour event. 20-30 minutes of quality time is plenty. The main thing is to remain consistent. Once again, breaking a promise here or there out of necessity is not the end of the world. However, breaking numerous promises without regard is unacceptable. Keep your promises!