Okay, so I plan to do more of these types of posts, but for now, I’ll focus on 5 common mistakes new fathers can make. By the way, I make mistakes as a father too. Everyone does. So, this is definitely not meant to be a holier-than-thou post. That being said, hopefully these types of posts can provide education and prevent common errors from occurring. As a results, we can all become more present and caring fathers. So, here are some common mistakes that are made:

1. Thinking only the mother matters and dad is not needed. This may be controversial for the folks out there who dismiss and downplay fatherhood, but screw those people, because dads are important too. If a baby can have two strong parental figures in their lives, then it’s a tremendous benefit. Yes, the baby will most likely bond to their mom first, but they will bond strongly to their father also. Therefore, hold the baby as soon as you can once it is born. I know it can be nerve-wracking but do it! Perform skin-to-skin time. Help change diapers give baths. Believe it or not, changing diapers and bathing are great bonding moments. The sooner you get involved with your baby, the stronger the bond will become.
2. Not helping with night duties. Sleep is important, for both the mother and the father. Therefore, help with night duties. A newborn will need feeding and changing every couple of hours, and this does not suddenly pause at night. However you need to split it up, make sure you are contributing to the baby’s needs and allowing your partner to get their needed rest. One thing you can do is take separate night shifts. For instance, if she was on night duty last night, then you take it tonight. Or, if she gets up the first time, you get up the next time. Whatever works best for you two.
3. Not paying attention to your own mental health. Mental health is important and some dads think they just need to keep quiet and not care about their own needs. This is a falsity. Definitely take the time to care for yourself. Do things you enjoy, like going to the gym, or playing cards. Talk to your partner if you feel overwhelmed. Reach out to other dads. There are definitely support groups out there for dads, whether it’s to receive some type of therapy, or a group that engages in activities together, like hiking or bowling. Your own needs and wellbeing are essential.
4. Forgetting about the relationship. Yes, the baby’s needs will become the priority, but don’t forget that you have a partner still. Don’t ignore the relationship. communicate regularly, go out on dates, and continue to enjoy each other’s company. If there are friends or family that can watch the baby for a couple of hours, take advantage of it. Caring about the relationship with your partner does not make you a bad or neglectful parent. In fact, in the long run, it will make you an even better parent.
5. Worrying about perfection, rather than presence. News flash: you are not going to be the perfect dad. Not everyone can be like me. Lol, I kid, I jest. But in all seriousness, don’t obsess about being the perfect dad. You never will be. None of us truly are. Be the best father you can be and learn as you go. However, don’t kick yourself for every little mistake. There are plenty of resources out there to help you. Basically, be a present father, provide for their needs, keep them safe, show them love, and have patience, for the baby, yourself, and your partner.

I hope this list is helpful and insightful. If you have any questions or suggestions, let me know and thanks for reading!