Becoming a dad changes you in many ways. One major thing that changes is your schedule. Many tasks, activities, errands, and hobbies have to be done around the kids’ schedules. In order to be a present father, you have to prioritize your kiddos; that’s a given. However, when it comes to being a present parent and having hobbies, it does not have to be one or the other.

While it can be more challenging to maintain your previous lifestyle and interests, becoming a parent does not mean completely altering your identity. Yes, you will be a dad, but you can also be a dad and a golfer, or a dad and a fisherman, or a dad and a bowler, or a dad and an artist, or a dad and a runner, and so on and so forth. Basically, you can still keep your previous identity while being a good, supportive parent.

This will actually make you a better father as it will give you time to enjoy what you love, which will make you appreciate fatherhood even more. Staying connected to your passions will make you an overall more well-balanced parent. No matter how much we love your kids, it’s not a secret that we must all step away to take a breather. Don’t ever feel guilty about doing this.

The question is, how can we stay connected to our passions while still being present fathers? Right off the bat, time management will be a major factor here. Before becoming a parent, you may have had large amounts of uninterrupted time to engage in your hobbies. However, that won’t be the case any longer. Being a present father means spending quality time with kids without distractions. Even if it’s just for 15-20 minutes, be present with your children and engage with them. Ask them questions, play with them, talk to them, horse around, laugh, and just let them know you are there and nothing else matters in that moment.

In order to fit your hobbies into your daily life as a parent, rearrange your time schedule. Wake up before your children and do some reading, exercise, write, paint, watch the sunrise, or do whatever you enjoy doing. If you’re a night owl, then wait till your kiddos go to sleep and then engage in your desired activities. If your hobbies need to be done during the day, then block off certain times that are just for you. Be deliberate about creating this time and set boundaries with others in your home so they know not to interrupt unless there is an emergency. How much time should you block off? That depends on the hobby, in question. For instance, practicing a musical instrument or going for a run may require 30 minutes. Going on a hike or fishing may require more due to prep time. Regardless, be diligent with your schedule and make it worthwhile, whether it’s spending time with your kids, or engaging in your favorite activities.

Another option, and this may be the best one, is to turn your hobbies into shared experiences. Basically, including your kiddos in your favorite past times. If you love to write, maybe write a poem, or short story together. Take your son and/or daughter to the gym with you. Play your favorite musical instrument in front of them. Doing this will make you a present parent with intention and also allow you to take part in what you love.

Of course, there needs to be some amount of flexibility with your time. Life is full of variables and unexpected events. This can throw a wrench into your schedule. However, don’t fret, just pivot. Readjust your calendar as much as you need. For instance, if you couldn’t go running in the morning, find some time in the afternoon or evening. If you didn’t get to go fishing today, try going tomorrow or later in the week. Be deliberate with your time but don’t panic if things don’t always go your way.

One final thing to remember is to not forget about your spouse, or the mother of your child. Present mothers need space and time for their own activities. So, whenever you can, step in so the mother has the opportunity to take a break and participate in her favorite past times. Both parents need to do this, so always help each other achieve this goal.